27. Dealing with Heartbreak

Healing and Moving On

I have had a bathroom refurbishment, and the whole experience caused me a lot of heartbreak. I thought the builder was good, but it turns out- he was a scammer.

(video at bottom of Page)

The rogue builder is called Shane. And he made a terrible mess in my bathroom. The worst of it is that he scammed me out of money. I trusted him to do a good job, which led to disappointment.

Finally, I found a fantastic builder who was willing to complete the work. They rescued the situation, and they did a fantastic job!

During the turmoil, I moved away from my usual writing schedule. Dealing with the rogue builder has been stressful and disappointing- heartbreaking. And this is the theme I am writing to you about today.

Disappointment and Heartbreak.

In my life, one of the most complex problems has been wondering how to bear disappointment and heartbreak.

Disappointment can lead to heartbreak. Disappointment occurs when there is an expectation that something will happen that does not. And then you may become sick.

Heartbreak manifests as a dramatic feeling of sheer hopelessness, often in the chest or the pit of one’s stomach.

Proverbs 13:12 “Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but it is a tree of life when the hope is fulfilled.” Too True! Dealing with disappointment and heartbreak is undoubtedly one of the hardest things to understand and cope with.

Sick of Heartbreak

I am the type of person who wants to believe and trust others. So, for whatever reason, if a person does not stick to their word, I become grossly disappointed. I feel sick to my stomach, and it leaves all my hopes dashed. In my 60+ years living on this earth. If I received £1 every time I was let down, I would indeed be a wealthy woman!

But disappointment has made me even more determined as a human being to keep my word. I do not want to be responsible for anyone else giving up hope.

Disappointment and Hopelessness

Are you dealing with disappointment and heartbreak? If you are, I know how you feel. The feeling of hopelessness you get as a result is just awful.

Unfortunately, some people make it a habit not to stick to their word. These people don’t care, so they promise so much and deliver nothing.

Who Has Disappointed You?

It may be a person close to you who has disappointed you.

Your boss promised you a pay raise or a promotion, which didn’t come to fruition.
A work colleague may have let you down.
Someone you’re in a relationship with has made false promises, leaving you feeling used.
Somebody who works for you or provides a service.

Whoever has hurt you, the disappointment cuts deep. It dashes your hopes entirely when someone fails to fulfil your promise or expectations. Disappointment can be overwhelming at times. This poses a question for me: how can one be rid of the feeling of disappointment and move on?

Disappointment and Hopelessness

First of all, you must not play the blame game!

Focusing on blame and criticism of the person who has let you down makes the matter much worse. Blaming is an endless merry-go-round you can’t get off. Blame stirs your emotions afresh every time you bring it to remembrance. If you play the blame game, you’ll likely develop a grudge.

It would help if you stopped the blaming and actively sought justice through the proper channels. Seeking true justice is not vengeance and will hopefully end the matter. Whereas blaming and taking vengeance will mess with your head and heart.

You need to heal from worry and disappointment. You cannot do that if you have a bad attitude towards those who have disappointed you. Why? This is because your emotions will reflect directly upon you and your future. In short, your attitudes eventually become who you are.

What you focus on today will be your reality tomorrow. So, no matter how awful the situation is for you today, don’t hang onto it; otherwise, resentment will build.

Resentment will grow into a grudge and then hate. If left unchecked, you will have a deeper problem on your hands in the future.

Grudges or Forgiveness?

To the best of my ability, I do not hold a grudge and decide to forgive. Do you think it’s worth hanging on to a grudge against the person who has disappointed you? Jesus tells us that it’s not- he clearly says that we must first forgive for us to be forgiven.

If we hold a grudge, how can we expect that no one in the world will hold a grudge against us? How can we expect others to be forgiving towards us if we hold something towards them? The law of sowing and reaping comes into play here.

Alternatively, if we hang on to a grudge, we can’t forgive. We must get rid of the grudge first, then be free to forgive. According to Matthew 6:14–15, a person who doesn’t forgive others will not be forgiven by God. And that’s pretty heavy!

Jesus states: “If you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But your Father will not forgive your sins if you do not forgive others.”

SCAMMED

I have been scammed, you’ve been scammed, and many people have been scammed. But the light is at the end of the tunnel when you trust God through it all.

This so-called builder scammed me. However, although I lost a lot of money and it caused me stress, I do not hold a grudge. On the contrary, I forgave and prayed for him. Because he disappeared, I had no recourse. Although I was out of pocket, I have moved on. And the great thing is that I have learned some valuable lessons.

Play The Game Right

To be able to move on and not come back to the same problem at a later date in your mind, you must accept that sometimes evil people will come into your life.

These people don’t care how they treat you. Please stay away from playing their game. Play God’s game by avoiding the blame game. Play it God’s way by…….

Accept that some people will unintentionally disappoint you; they didn’t mean to.

Accept that the disappointment will hurt you for a time, but there is healing.
Accept that if you do not forgive, you tie God’s hands to forgive you.
Accept that holding a grudge or taking revenge is a no-win way to play it.
Accept that the blame game will leave you sour, and even more disappointed and heartbroken.

Remember, what you focus on today will be your reality tomorrow. Don’t hang onto a grudge; let it go. When you are grossly disappointed or heartbroken, give it to the Lord Jesus. Ask Him to give you the love, power and strength to bless and forgive, and you will be blessed.

If you are grieving and need to talk or seeking spiritual help, drop me an email to chat with me.

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I’m Paula Rose Parish — a former atheist of 21 years, Protestant pastor for over 40 years, and now a Catholic convert. After a powerful encounter where Jesus audibly called me to follow Him, my life was forever changed. I’ve ministered across Australia, the USA, and the UK, and today, I share my journey of faith, hope, and transformation.

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27. Dealing with Heartbreak