A Theology of the Body Approach to Difficult Relationships.

Theology of the Body (TOB) offers a powerful reminder that every person has inherent dignity. Every human being, friend or foe, supportive or antagonistic, is created in the image and likeness of God. That means each person deserves to be treated with love. But TOB also teaches an important truth that is sometimes overlooked: loving someone does not mean allowing them to treat us however they want.

Love is often misunderstood as “being nice,” “keeping the peace,” or “avoiding conflict.” But authentic love. Christ-centred love goes much deeper. It seeks the good of the other. And we cannot truly seek someone’s good while allowing them to demean themselves through cruel, abusive, disrespectful, or unkind behaviour.

When we enable harmful behaviour, whether by staying silent, withdrawing, or retaliating, we fail to uphold the truth of that person’s dignity. We also violate our own.

Love Calls Us to More Than Instinct

Our natural reactions when we feel attacked usually fall into two categories:

Avoiding conflict: hiding, staying silent, numbing ourselves, or pretending everything is fine, or

Enflaming conflict: hitting back, escalating, verbally lashing out, or acting in anger.

Neither response reflects authentic love. TOB invites us to rise above instinct and ask a deeper question:
  What response will serve the ultimate good of everyone involved, including myself, the person being offended?

This is not easy. When someone wounds us, our emotions flare. Our defences rise. Our thoughts race. This is precisely when TOB calls us to pause, breathe, and invite God into the moment.

“Lord, help me respond in love.”

When we feel attacked or mistreated, TOB encourages us to pray:
 “Lord, help me respond in a way that honours your image in both of us.”

Sometimes that response might be:

• Speaking a difficult truth calmly
• Setting a loving but firm boundary
• Stepping back to cool down and pray
• Refusing to participate in disrespect
• Seeking guidance or intervention
• Choosing forgiveness without allowing continued harm

Love is neither passive nor aggressive. Love is courageous. Love is honest. Love is willing to say:

“I refuse to return harm for harm… but I also refuse to enable behaviour that violates the dignity God has given us both.”

Being Christlike Doesn’t Mean Being a Doormat

Jesus loved His enemies, but He never allowed Himself to be manipulated or demeaned. He confronted hypocrisy. He spoke truth boldly. He walked away when crowds turned violent. His love was fierce, not fragile.

Following Him means learning to balance tenderness with strength, compassion with clarity, mercy with justice.

TOB and the Call to Transform Conflict

Through Theology of the Body, we learn that conflict is not something to panic about or avoid. It is an invitation to grow in holiness, our own, and sometimes the other person’s as well.

By responding thoughtfully instead of instinctively, we participate in God’s redemptive work. We become channels of grace in spaces where hostility often reigns. We become witnesses to the truth that every person deserves love — but love that is rooted in dignity, not permissiveness.

A Final Encouragement

If you’re wrestling with antagonistic or unsupportive people in your life, know this:

You are not called to endure mistreatment.
 You are not called to shrink.
 And you are not called to “keep the peace” at the expense of truth and dignity.

BUT, you are called to love. And real love is strong enough to say both yes and no.

Take courage. Invite God into your relationships. Ask Him to form your heart, guide your tongue, and strengthen your boundaries. He will be faithful.

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I’m Paula Rose Parish — a former atheist of 21 years, Protestant pastor for over 40, and now a Catholic convert. After a powerful encounter where Jesus audibly called me to follow Him, my life was forever changed. I’ve ministered across Australia, the USA, and the UK, and today, I share my journey of faith, hope, and transformation.

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