78. Lent & Giving up Stuff

Lent is a time of starting fresh, spiritual reflection, penance, and self-discipline. Traditionally, Christians commit to giving up something during this season to draw closer to God, build self-control, and reflect on the sacrifice Christ made for humanity.

Whether it’s giving up a favourite treat, social media, or a bad habit, Lent is an opportunity to reset and deepen your relationship with faith and self-discipline.

However, what happens when you falter? (Like I have)

How can you overcome setbacks in your Lenten commitment?

What do you do when you find yourself failing to keep your commitment to give up something during Lent?

Do you abandon your goal entirely, or can you start again?

The truth is, setbacks happen. Life is unpredictable, and we are all human. I told my followers on YouTube that I failed Lent, and they have given me some really good advice, which I will share here.

I learned that the key to success in any commitment, especially one as spiritually significant as Lent, lies not in perfection but in perseverance and grace. If you’ve failed to keep your Lenten commitment, take heart—you can always start again. So let’s start gaining together!

1. Acknowledge the Slip-Up Without undue Guilt

The first step in starting again is to acknowledge that you’ve fallen short without drowning in guilt. It’s easy to let guilt take over when we fail. You might feel like you’ve ruined your Lenten journey or that you’ve lost all progress. But guilt can often lead to more negative behaviour, including giving up entirely. Instead of dwelling on the failure, recognise it as a part of your human experience.

Undue guilt serves no purpose other than to make you feel stuck. Instead, embrace the fact that this is a learning experience. You’ve fallen short, and that’s okay.

The very nature of Lent is about transformation, not perfection. You are on a journey, and setbacks are part of that process. Acknowledging your mistake with self-compassion allows you to move forward with clarity, not shame.

2. Reflect on the ‘Why’ Behind Your Commitment

Once you’ve released the undue guilt, take a moment to reflect on why you made the commitment in the first place.

Lent is more than just a challenge, it’s an opportunity for spiritual growth. Whether you were giving up something to foster self-control, to deepen your relationship with God, or to develop a sense of gratitude, the initial purpose remains important.

Perhaps you’ve given up something like chocolate, social media, or your morning coffee to reflect on Jesus’ sacrifice. If you’re unsure of your “why,” take a step back and rediscover your motivation.

When you reconnect with your purpose, you’ll likely feel renewed inspiration to keep going. The commitment was never about what you gave up; it’s about what you gain spiritually from the experience.

3. View Setbacks as Learning Opportunities

Instead of seeing a slip-up as failure, approach it as a valuable learning opportunity. Ask yourself, “What led me to break my commitment?” Was it an emotional trigger, stress, boredom, or simply a habit?

Understanding why you faltered gives you the chance to prepare better for the future. If your goal was to cut out sweets, maybe the temptation is stronger when you’re stressed. Or, if you gave up social media, perhaps you found yourself scrolling when you were bored or anxious.

By understanding the root cause of your setback, you can develop better coping strategies and set yourself up for success moving forward. For example, if you find yourself turning to sweets when stressed, try replacing them with a healthy alternative or a new coping mechanism, such as taking a walk, reading, or journaling.

The key is to identify the patterns that led to your failure so you can address them constructively.

4. Take Small, Manageable Steps Toward Your Goal

It’s important to remember that Lent is a journey, and it’s okay to take small steps.

If the initial commitment was too big or overwhelming, consider scaling it back. Instead of completely giving up something, perhaps reduce it gradually.

If you’ve been struggling to avoid chocolate, try substituting it for healthier options, like dark chocolate or fruit, until you feel more in control. If social media is your vice, consider reducing your screen time instead of cutting it out entirely.

Making small, manageable changes can help you build the habit of self-control without feeling overwhelmed. Lent is not about perfection; it’s about making progress in your spiritual growth. If you slip, it doesn’t mean the end of the road.

You can start again with a renewed sense of purpose and a plan to take it one day at a time.

5. Seek Accountability and Support

Accountability can be a powerful tool in staying committed to your Lent goals. Share your struggles with a trusted friend, family member, or spiritual mentor.

Having someone to check in with can help you stay motivated and focused. You don’t have to go through this process alone. In fact, inviting others into your journey can make it more meaningful.

For example, you might want to share your experience with a friend who is also giving up something for Lent. You can encourage each other, check in regularly, and remind each other of the spiritual purpose behind the commitment.

Community support fosters resilience and provides a safety net when you’re tempted to give up entirely.

6. Make Prayer a Priority

When you’re feeling discouraged, prayer is an essential part of restarting your commitment. Pray for strength, guidance, and patience. Prayer is an intimate way to reconnect with God and ask for the spiritual fortitude to continue. You don’t have to wait for a perfect moment to pray. In fact, moments of struggle can be some of the most powerful times to turn to God.

If you’ve failed to keep your commitment, take a moment to ask for forgiveness, guidance, and renewal.

Prayer doesn’t need to be long or complicated; it’s about opening your heart and inviting God into your journey. Through prayer, you can experience a deep sense of peace and motivation to keep going, no matter how many times you’ve stumbled.

7. Be Kind to Yourself

Self-compassion is crucial in any journey of growth. If you fail to keep your Lenten commitment, be kind to yourself.

The process of personal transformation is not linear. It’s okay to have setbacks, as long as you continue moving forward. Each day is an opportunity to begin again, and every effort counts.

When you make a mistake, practice self-forgiveness. You don’t need to be perfect, and you certainly don’t need to punish yourself for slipping up. Give yourself permission to try again. After all, the beauty of Lent lies in the process of transformation—falling, getting up, and trying again.

8. Remember, Lent is About Transformation, Not Perfection

Ultimately, Lent is not about perfection; it’s about transformation.

It’s about striving to grow closer to God, learning to live with greater intention, and deepening your faith. When you fail, it doesn’t mean you’ve failed the entire season. You are still on the journey, and every day is an opportunity for renewal.

Lent is an invitation to learn from your mistakes, refine your practices, and grow spiritually. Embrace the process, and remember that the goal is not to get everything right but to open your heart to change and transformation.

Failure during Lent is not the end of your spiritual journey; rather, it’s an opportunity to practice resilience, humility, and grace.

When you fail to keep a commitment, take the time to reflect on your motivations, acknowledge the lesson, and start again with renewed strength and purpose.

Your Lenten journey is about growth, not perfection, and each day offers a new chance to deepen your faith. So, even if you stumble, rise again and keep moving forward, understanding that true transformation is a process.

Happy Lent!

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I’m Paula Rose Parish — a former atheist of 21 years, Protestant pastor for over 40 years, and now a Catholic convert. After a powerful encounter where Jesus audibly called me to follow Him, my life was forever changed. I’ve ministered across Australia, the USA, and the UK, and today, I share my journey of faith, hope, and transformation.

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