The COVID variants are still with us. Healthy people are still dying from this dreaded virus. For example, I learnt of a perfectly healthy 19-year-old who had died within 48 hours of feeling ill. The autopsy revealed it was COVID related.

Michelle is a young mum with two tiny toddlers. She tested positive for COVID-19 and felt unwell but still walked around independently. However, her doctor decided to admit her to the hospital. As the young mum settled into her hospital bed, the nurse asked how she felt. She said, “I feel a little bit unwell, but apart from that, I have no other symptoms”. Unfortunately, the next day she passed away.

Hearing this sad news of these two people who suddenly died, my heart immediately went out to these dear families facing one of the worst tragedies of their lives. No one has time to prepare emotionally for death when it is totally out of the blue.

Coping with Death

Both of my parents have passed away. The death of a loved one is hard enough to bear. At such times, the loved ones left behind are so shocked by this event they either want to freeze, flee or fight the situation. Shock is terrible, especially if you don’t realise, you’re in shock. I have a section in my book “Nothing Good about Grief, shown below, which explains what shock is and how to recognise it yourself.

Yet, in shock, the loved one is expected to deal with all legalities and funeral arrangements, leaving no time to reflect or grieve. Just after a loved one dies and the body is released, each day becomes filled with notifying banks, social services, and employers, collecting death certificates, notifying utility services, etc. And one might be faced with caring for any children left behind, not to mention any pets.

Then there is the heart-breaking task of notifying friends and family of the death of the one that you dearly loved and wondering how you do without them.

Too Busy to Grieve.

The funeral arrangements alone are a massive task because one is not prepared for this and may have never experienced dealing with these things before. All these tasks and others are terribly time-consuming, exhausting, and sleep is not easy.

Finally, on the day of the funeral arrives, totally exhausted from the previous week’s events, the loved one feels as if they have hit a milestone. They are perhaps comforted by the words, “It will be over soon”. But no words are sufficient to bring comfort. What most people dread is the funeral service itself. Family and friends gather around, paying respect to their loved ones, and as the funeral service progresses, the reality of the situation is revealed, a loved one has died and will not be coming back.

The Sudden Stop

The day after the funeral, the loved one who has left greets not only a new day but a new lifestyle and, for many, a totally new life entirely.

Now without the hustle and bustle of arranging this, and arranging that, notifying this person notifying that person is behind them, suddenly everything comes to a standstill.

The busyness does not wind down slowly but abruptly ends the day after the funeral. Here, the shock is compounded, and one may ask, what shall I do now?

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